


Another's Emotions

by spitecentral



Series: Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week 2020 [4]
Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Aromantic Character, Aromantic Natori Shuuichi, Arovague Natori Shuuichi, Autistic Natori Shuuichi, Drabble, Gen, Written by an Autistic Author, low empathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:14:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22775479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spitecentral/pseuds/spitecentral
Summary: Natori goes on a date. It doesn't go so well.
Series: Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636186
Kudos: 13





	Another's Emotions

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place a little before the series. Natori's characterization is a bit difficult for me to get a hold of, but I honestly still quiet like how this turned out. I'm pretty sure this specific experience is more a combination of low empathy and emotional dysregulation, but I usually only see it talked about along with low empathy, so that's what I went with for the primary tag.
> 
> Arovague: An arospec identity affected by one's neurodivergency.

The smile felt fake on his face - more than normal, that is, the corners strained, his jaw clenched tight. 

“I just...” Itō sighed, her hand grasping her glass, and god, why had he agreed to go out on a date again? “I just miss her so much. It hasn't even been a week and I -” 

_I don’t care. Please shut up._

She rubbed her eyes. “I’m sorry, I know this isn’t first date talk. I just couldn’t hold it in, I guess.”

He took a deep breath. _It’s not her fault that you’re annoyed_ , he reminded himself. _Her feelings are perfectly valid. Don’t be cruel._

“Don’t be sorry,” he said, careful to make his voice soft, soothing. “It’s perfectly normal to mourn someone. Take all the time you need, and remember that you’re allowed to feel the way you do.”

Itō gave him a weak smile. “Thanks, Natori. I really needed to hear that.”

Natori dug his nails into his palm. “I’m glad I could help.”

Itō was a coworker, and, unlike many of the other women who’d asked him out, he actually liked her: she was compassionate, serious, and usually calm. He may not have felt anything romantic towards her, but when she’d invited him to a restaurant, he felt like he could give it a shot, at least. 

Unfortunately, that shot seemed to have missed its target. 

Later, after they’d said goodbye and went their separate ways, he stumbled into his apartment and let himself fall onto the couch. 

“Welcome home,” Urihime greeted, appearing at his side. Natori tried for a smile, but only managed a grimace. 

“I take it the date didn’t go well?” Sasago asked, perching on the couch’s arm rest. 

Natori sighed. “Itō was perfectly nice, if a bit prone to oversharing. Really, I was the problem. As usual.”

Sasago cocked her head. “How so?”

He grabbed one of the couch cushions. It was a lovely cool blue, and unusually soft. Stroking it and watching the hairs move with his hand always made him feel calmer, as stupid as it was. He took a deep breath, relieving his irritation at least the tiniest bit. 

“Compassion is... not my biggest strength,” he admitted. “I got annoyed at her for showing too much emotion. Just can’t quite deal with that.” He shrugged. “And I was in a bad mood already. To be honest, I don’t particularly like going on dates.”

“Why did you go, then?” Urihime asked.

“I’m in my twenties, Urihime. I can’t avoid romance forever, even if I don’t seem to feel that particular type of attraction.”

“Why not?”

He looked down at the cushion, following the lines his hand made in the fleece. Why not, indeed?

“Look,” Sasago said, waving her hand impatiently, “if you don’t want to date, and you’re not attracted to anyone, and you don’t have the patience to deal with other people’s emotions, maybe you’re just better off not being in a relationship. I really don’t see why this has to be so difficult.”

“Me neither,” Urihime added. “It’s clearly making you miserable. You should stop. Just text her that you don’t want to continue.”

He closed his eyes. “I suppose that’s the best option,” he muttered. “I just... can’t deal with anyone’s emotions in the way a relationship would require, apparently. I’d only hurt her.”

“Exactly,” Urihime agreed. “And she’d only hurt you. Text her tomorrow.”

“I will, I will.” He waved his hand. “I’d like to be alone, now.”

Urihime nodded, bowed her head and vanished. “Don’t mope for too long,” Sasago said, before likewise disappearing. 

With a deep sigh, he fell back against the couch. The apartment was blissfully quiet. 

Even after years and years of practice, he couldn’t deal with people. Even if he liked them, even if he cared for them, he’d always, at some point, get annoyed with them like this. 

He turned on his side. At the end of the day, he just wasn’t meant to be a nice person, he supposed. 

He’d text Itō tomorrow. Better to cut this off before it even started.


End file.
